This week's match report is a somewhat esoteric affair, featuring as it does several stellar performances from the girls, while yet again I was able to see precisely 4 overs of it due to circumstances both familiar and unexpected. We offer our thanks to club comedienne and now catching maestro Nicki Wilcox whose enthusiasting online postings form the basis around which I can make up half the report ;)

As game day began there was a slightly worrying post from Nicki, the main focus being some kind of headwear that I'm sure has appeared in a Dr Seuss story.

Game face

However, let's get to the action. After yet more weekend rain, the ground was heavy. The Totts innings didn't get off to the best of starts, with my brief visit coinciding with Aussie sensation Meg getting out and then Nat Kaye, who I had offered some batting pointers to the previous week, having her stumps demolished. Good work, Paul. However Charlotte Boulton, who last year registered the first 100 for Totts Women, was in no mood to be removed, and she got going with several powerful shots against both pace and spin attacks, looking every inch a class act.

My ability to keep a close eye on the action was somewhat impeded when Esther ambushed me for a detailed and fervent discussion about the merits of wipe-clean tablecloths, even showing me several samples for my approval. Ah the sensational life of a club secretary ...

When I left we were 32-3 and really up against it, so it was a pleasant surprise to get notifications later that Ceebs was not only still batting but completely dominating. Such was her focus that she ended up with a mighty 124 not out from a team total of 160. Keen mathematicians, social trend spotters and Googlers will note that her contribution of 77.5% of the total was exactly the same level of possession that Man United had against West Brom last week (a game they lost), the average online critic's rating of 2014 movie Veronica Mars, and the discount offered in my daily Groupon email for 5 Zumba classes. What are the chances?

Anyway, here's a shot of the girl herself in action ...

Ceebs ton

Meanwhile Wilco was hard at work convincing the overseas star to put on a Longridge CC top. Despite intense disapproval of such despicable flaunting of other clubs' badges (indeed, something which saw 1st team roaming star Rick Carr's entire non-Totts kit being burned in a fiery conflagration last Saturday night), we reproduce for posterity:

Longridge Aussie

The interval was upon us, bring the welcome site of the lads taking charge of the food while the girls put their feet up.

Teas up

As we've seen in recent weeks a score of 160 is about par for these games, so it was important that Totts got off to a decent start, Enter skipper Jas. After several weeks of bowling frustration, this was to be her day, an opening burst leaving the visitors reeling at 16-4 before the big moment - "an absolute worldie" of a catch from Safehands Wilcox, a champagne highlight of the day.

Jas completed her 5 wicket haul as the Totts girls ran rampant, and there was just time for the skipper to show her class with a post-match pose ...

Sums it up

Congratulatory messages

Bring on next week's home game! See you at the Meadows!

I Will if You Will Biffaward

Beryl Avenue, Tottington, Bury, BL8 3NF
Twitter: @TottyStJohnsCC