Two Overs At ... Chinese George
The newest Internet sensation, "Chinese George" is our latest overseas amateur. Rapidly making a name thanks to his Asian heritage and elegant late cuts, CG has already set a precedent for one of the smallest 6s ever hit in the GMCL, after which he was roundly abused by the opposition. He makes a damn fine chicken madras though, and both he and his adoptive "pawwww" have been welcome additions to the ranks.
Disclaimer: Chinese George is a parody of one of our club players, George Thomas. The Twitter profile and interview are used solely for the purpose of mickey-taking and club amusement, and should not be taken out of context or indeed at all seriously. Any offence caused to club members is purely intentional, and offence caused to anyone else is possibly grounds for sense of humour failure.
How are you finding life in our English culture?
I very enjoy rivving in Ingrand. Despite it being very chirrrrry and wet, everyone make-a me rearrrrry welcome and I even have job in rocal factory!
When did your adoptive English father reach out to you?
I saw strange man with beeeeeg, rong rennnns on his camera and I shouted “HERRO!” from a ray-by just off Beijing main highray. My rickshaw had broken down and nice man Pawww had room in his car for me and my cricket bag.
How are you settling in at TSJCC?
It a rice prace to pray cricket and rooks rike Great Worrr of China around edge of field.
Which teammate gives you most honour, and who gives you disrespect?
I am honoured orrr time by praying with friends.
Bawwww man Marcus make rude comment orr time. He not pray since 1983 ren man from West Indies raunch him for six. Man from Roarkshaa rikes sound of his own voice so wise man Confucius say “man who not shut up get shut up by prayyyge of rocusts” to him. And there is rise man Mr Phirrrrripps who is from Rales. He is expert at Brueberrrs.
What Chinese zodiacal sign are you, and what qualities does this provide?
I am born in rear of horse, and my rucky numbers are three, four and naaaaaarn.
What are the secrets of a good chicken madras?
Prenty of spice, prenty of rice and prenty of mice. Just rike home!
So far you have unveiled a late cut and a whip through backward square. Do you plan on adding any more shots to your game?
No. I once tried Chinese cut and ended up breeding orrrr-rover my regs.
In Chinese culture, people must respect their leaders. How do you get on with club officials and your (non-playing) captain?
There is a man who use abacus orrrrr-time to count money, he called Crive. He grins when prayers pray on time. Mr Chairman is nice, he verrrr torrr man. There is also the rittle man who has brack hair in second erreven, he nice. And Watty only once hit six over rong reg but rets me bat three.. He has injury to his knee due to disrocation so should rearrrrry retire. But we orrrr have drinks and raggggga makes everything OK.
You have been implicated in the theft of a gnome from a local cricket club. How do you plead?
Rot guirrrty. I brame Ree Kenron.
Your father regularly takes photos during games. Is there any truth in the rumour that these find their way to your Chinese handler?
No. Pawww take pictures to show to my corrrrr-eeeeegs how to pray game. He print and rammminate them in his home studio.
How are you helping to change the stereotypes of overseas cricketers in our area?
I am trying to ret my cricket do the taaaawking but if more peoporrr from Repubric of China want to pray we should arrrrr-oww it.
How do you see your role developing at Tottington in the coming years?
I would rike to see the traditonarrr cricket runches be reprayyyced by traditionarrr Cantonese runch, maybe incrude derrrricasy such as Duck from Island Rodge which I could corrrrrect for prayers?
If you'd like to take a turn in the hotseat, please drop Doc P a line via email@example.com and we'll whizz you over some questions. We'd be delighted to hear from players, supporters, partners, friends of the club or anyone who fancies taking part - all welcome!